tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14300599.post114004555610626652..comments2023-10-09T07:56:32.564-05:00Comments on Sacramentum Vitae: Women with money, and menMike Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09060404905348849140noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14300599.post-1140113353084019702006-02-16T13:09:00.000-05:002006-02-16T13:09:00.000-05:00I would say that an important criterion for choosi...I would say that an important criterion for choosing a husband is that, when push comes to shove, I need willingly and gratefully to be confident in his responsibility and judgment to determine the course. My own experience, as a woman whose independence and assertiveness appalls a few good people, is that for real grown-ups it's usually side by side, in stride, maybe the husband will fall back on matters in which he's less interested, and the wife has the say-so unless overruled.<BR/><BR/>But when the Big One blows in, someone needs to be in charge saying when to bail and when to weigh anchor. (Think of Katrina, when executive wisdom was so badly needed. Who can imagine a bumper sticker now that says <EM>X for Governor. Why the H*** not?</EM>) Even if 99% of the wife's vocabulary is "honey, do..." the lexicon needs to include "Aye, aye, sir." At that point money doesn't matter. But too much money may impede getting to that understanding, or even obscure the gravity of the relationship issue. The easiest way to structure wholesome interdependence is for the man to find his way as provider, in ways immaterial as much as material.<BR/><BR/>Except in life under monastic vows, obedience just to obey is foolish. That is, a willing woman needs a good, grown-up, confident, generous, Life-cured man, who never requires obedience out of unresolved power needs, but for the good of the whole household. The huge modern problem is the formation of those. There's more <A HREF="http://goodandhappy.typepad.com/g_as_in_good_h_as_in_happ/2006/02/boyz2men.html#more" REL="nofollow">here</A>, with some links.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com