Bernard Brandt is one of my favorite people in the blogosphere. An Eastern Catholic, he posts erudite yet pithy things about Muslim outrages, Catholic-Orthodox issues, politics, and the arts, including his own surprisingly good poetry. Because he rarely indulges in theological polemics himself, I rarely comment at his blog and he rarely comments at this one. But I was glad to know he's around doing his thing even before he bestowed on me, as his Christmas gift, knighthood in the Order of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
I am as close to speechless, in this case with gratitude, as I am ever likely to get. Indeed I had been craving this honor with barely contained envy ever since Bernard bestowed it last year on the Pontificator, Fr. Al Kimel—who, I hasten to add, was tickled pink. With due measures of levity and gravity, Fr. Al has seconded the announcement of this latest member's induction. If you care to join in the fun.
In celebration, enjoy the six-second audio of the following prayer's first line:
"O Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits … in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu … [”skip ahead a bit, brother”] … And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Amen.