I can't resist offering a sample:
"OCTORBITISTS – Note the different spelling. This is not the Octoberfests, a little known cult that involves the drinking of great amounts of beer in October but the Octorbitists. Oct, meaning the number eight and orbits referring to path the earth makes around the sun. This sect only recognizes the Church for about eight years usually only stopping in the parking lot Monday through Friday to drop their children off for school. They do not recognize the spiritual role of the Church but submit to its authority in teaching math, science, and the making of collages."