Most effective vocations poster yet!

My favorite post-election commercial

HT to Mark Shea.

Quotation of the day: on freedom

"...once you intuit the Absolute, humility is the only option. It is as natural as the urge to dump a bag of manure on Bill Maher."

—Robert "Gagdad Bob" Godwin

Sometimes it's just easier to do standup...

Wish I'd thought of that. One wonders how much more money I'd make with it though.

Clubs and vocations

There's an old joke about Washington society: at the University Club, you need money and no brains; at the Cosmos Club, you need brains and no money; and at the Metropolitan Club, you don't need either one. When I lived in DC I thought at first that I belonged in the Cosmos Club—until, like Groucho Marx, I concluded that any club that would have me was, for that very reason, not highbrow enough for my tastes. An analogous problem, I believe, helps to explain the so-called "vocations shortage" in the developed countries.

Giving secularism, materialism, hypereroticism, and heterodoxy their ample due, the fact remains that I've known many admirable Catholic laymen who either have or do exclude themselves from consideration for the priesthood because they consider themselves unworthy. In the abstract, to be sure, they would acknowledge that nobody is worthy, that a genuine "call" comes only with a power to answer and live it that no man possesses naturally. But that truth of pastoral theology is basically seen as irrelevant. For it is generally assumed by practicing cradle Catholics that a man has to be better than most of us, and better in a certain hard-to-define way, in order to be considered "worthy" in the sense meant by Eastern-Christian tradition when the newly ordained are hailed as Axios!

Being "better" in the relevant sense does not mean being somehow more pious, or knowing Catholic teaching better, or even believing it more fervently, than the average Catholic man. I've known some laymen who are both more "pious" and theologically better-formed even than some priests I've known, but who would neither consider themselves nor be considered suitable for the priesthood. Nor is the problem any presumptive lack of willingness on the part of such men to live a life of ascesis and loving service. In the concrete, the sacrament of marriage as the Church understands it often requires living such a life to a greater degree than some priests do, or are even expected to do. I had dinner at a Jesuit residence last weekend and was amazed by how commodious their domestic life is; if this is poverty, I thought, then I for one wouldn't miss wealth. (A couple of the Jesuits there were guys who had known me in high school, and I thought the same about their lives back then!) I've also been inside parish rectories of which much the same could be said. True, most celibate priests are overworked and put under a microscope; but that's only true when they're not at home. When I was married with children, what I did on family time was often harder work than my job and certainly put me under closer scrutiny. Hence an old Irish joke: "Why is marriage a sacrament? Because nobody can crucify themselves."

I think the blockage here comes from a sense that a priest, unlike a layman, should be a transparent icon of Christ. When one meets a genuinely holy priest, his natural virtues are unprepossessing even if they happen to be great. They are not what one keeps one's attention when one meets him. Supernaturalized by the grace of his vocation, the natural virtues of a holy priest point beyond himself to Christ. It becomes evident that it is not the man who lives, but Christ who lives in him. It's not that a layman can't be that; but truth be told, laymen aren't at all expected to be that; largely for that reason, they are not seen to be that save in very unusual situations. Hence and perforce, they are not that.

That is why, when I was younger, hardly anybody saw me as "worthy" of the priesthood and eventually convinced me that I wasn't worthy. Since what they noticed was my natural self, not Christ, they assumed I wouldn't be interested in the priesthood; those who found that I was, assumed that my motives were natural not supernatural and thus unworthy. So, e.g., being theologically better-educated and more orthodox than some priests only earned me the plaudit "smart," and we all know that "smart" guys need to get themselves into lucrative professions. Being more traditional and consistent in my piety than some priests earned me only the shopworn adjective "devout," but that didn't even put me up there with the ethnic grandmothers, who were presumed to be more devout than anybody except the priests, who were presumed to be the most devout of all, even when it took rather little insight to see that they weren't. And of course, nobody with a noticeable sexuality counted as priest or nun material; if they were seriously willing to consider taking a vow of celibacy, that meant they needed a hot date and a psychotherapist rather than the seminary or novitiate. And I think it safe to say that my sexuality was, at least, noticeable.

It took me a long time to realize that that is how I was seen and, by and large, continue to be seen by most good Catholics who have known me in "real" life. Once I did realize it, I quickly noticed that many good Catholic laymen do the same number on themselves without any explicit social encouragement. They have seen only their "natural" virtues and conclude that the best way for them to serve God is to put those virtues to use in pretty much the way other good men do, only with the addition of quietly sanctifying them through the practice of their Faith. Thus, it is thought, one can become holy not only without believing oneself to be holy but also without appearing to be and certainly without talking about it. Such seems to be the picture—again, among most "good" Catholics—of how the laity, i.e. 99% of Catholics, are to live their faith. Those in consecrated life, on the other hand, are supposed to be icons. Unlike the rest of us Catholics, they can and ought to get away with being visibly holy and spending a lot of time talking about as well as living the Faith—even if their theology and piety are virtually indistinguishable from those of Katherine Jefferts Schori. But laymen who carry on with the God-stuff are vaguely (and often not so vaguely) suspect, even if their theology and piety are virtually indistinguishable from the Pope's. Such men are presumed to be eccentrics, or worse. It doesn't help matters that some of them are.

It is this bit of (for want of a better turn of phrase) Catholic collective psychology that helps to explain today's vocation shortage. It is taken for granted that only a rather narrow range of personality-types, which have never been thick on the ground, are plausible candidates for the priesthood. I don't believe that was always the assumption. Perhaps the difference now is that the priesthood, for various extrinsic reasons, isn't the path to social status and respect that it once was, so that Catholic men who could or do succeed in a secular profession are now expected to do so. Whether the change is a good or a bad thing is hard for me to say. But it definitely means that many good Catholic men won't join a club that might have them.

La Dowd finally gets it right

In her July 6 column, Maureen extensively quotes an elderly priest on "whom not to marry." To many groups of (mostly) females, he gives a talk on that subject which has been finely distilled by his "decades in marriage counseling." The last line quoted from him in the column is this:

“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”

This priest is wise indeed. Maureen finally got something right. Makes me think of Romans 5:20. Which makes me think that sacramental marriage is possible after all!

(HT to frequent commenter John Hanson.)

Theological boot camp

The few. The proud. The seminarians.

It's good to know who's training to defend our values. Enjoy.




HT to Francis Beckwith.

Quotation of the day

"I like to attend meetings of the Catholic Theological Society in order to keep up with the latest trends in liberal Protestantism."

—Protestant theologian Robert Jenson.

New heresies to savor

Check out this priest's list, now making the rounds. Hilarious.

I can't resist offering a sample:

"OCTORBITISTS – Note the different spelling. This is not the Octoberfests, a little known cult that involves the drinking of great amounts of beer in October but the Octorbitists. Oct, meaning the number eight and orbits referring to path the earth makes around the sun. This sect only recognizes the Church for about eight years usually only stopping in the parking lot Monday through Friday to drop their children off for school. They do not recognize the spiritual role of the Church but submit to its authority in teaching math, science, and the making of collages."

Catholic nerdity

I don't know about you, but my mind needs a rest from time to time. Here's a pause that refreshes.

You know you're a Catholic nerd IF:

• you feel challenged by Catholics who see no irony in considering themselves more Catholic than the Pope.

• at Mass, you find yourself mouthing sotto voce a prayer prescribed for the priest, only to be horrified by his ad-libbing.

• you're disappointed that the Church doesn't have an official position on every controversial issue.

• you have nightmares about defending the faith from angry, liberal Catholic women. (Bonus nerd points if the nightmares are no worse than the reality.)

• a public exhibition near you of rare relics of saints is your idea of a hot date spot.

• you've taught in a seminary that had refused to accept you as a student.

• you feel guilty about forgetting to thank God for your sufferings.

Since seven is the number signifying perfection, I shall stop there. Of course there could be more, lots more. After all, I needn't remind my regular readers whose life the above items are drawn from.

Enjoy. And if you care to, add some!

I'm Tertullian

I couldn't resist. I took the test Mike Aquilina offers over at The Way of the Fathers. It's called "Which Church Father are you?"

You’re Tertullian! You possess many gifts, but patience isn’t one of them. You’re tough on yourself — and on others. You’re independent, too, and you don’t like to be told what to do. You wish the Church would be a little tighter in discipline. As for the pagans, you’ve pretty much written them off. Sometimes you think the Church would be a better place if you were in charge. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

Too close to the truth

Professor Tony Esolen at Mere Comments posts the following satire from a reader:

SCHOOL - 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

As Tony says, "It's a witty exaggeration of our current madness, but not much of an exaggeration, either." Indeed, what's common to all those scenarios is "the loss of trust." See Matthew 24: 12.

Proudly apostate, that's me

It's official now. I have been excommunicated and anathematized by the truly traditionalist Society of St. Leo I, named after the pope who faced down Attila the Hun, a ruthless pagan warlord to be execrated for not having been right-wing enough.

The only sort of day better than this would be one on which I simultaneously receive the same treatment from a progressive-Catholic society. They wouldn't use terms like 'excommunicate' and 'anathema', of course. I'd settle for being insulted in terms they would consider insulting.

In the meantime, check out the site where I and others have been declared "apostate scum." Those guys are having more fun than I knew was possible with this stuff!

What I failed to mention in my last confession

Something to be grateful for...

Moments of clarity are all too rare and all too necessary. I am grateful for them when I get them. In high school and college, I had a hard time explaining to myself why I found my Jesuit mentors so confusing; but now I've had moment of clarity about that. The confusion is still with us, but temporal distance and a hard-won modicum of maturity enable me to see through it and be grateful.

Diogenes reacts with perfect clarity to an Ash Wednesday Sermon this year by a Jesuit spiritual director:

Thank you, Father. If I've caught your gist, I am to pray to my heavenly Mother—obedient to the voice within—in gratitude for my sins, asking God to help me forgive God for making me the way I am.

Isn't there a technical term for spiritual counsel of this kind?

Read the sermon, if you've got the belly for it. Or should I say the belly-laugh? I can't think of a funny technical term, but maybe you can.

Banned in China....not

Like certain others concerned with freedom of speech and religion, I have checked at greatfirewallofchina.org to see if my site is blocked by the government. It is not. But UtterlyBoring.com is.

Oh well. Perhaps I'm not boring or subversive enough. I might need to be less academic to gain the new badge of honor much coveted among conservatives and religious folk.

More Chick fodder

Here's a factoid the Jack-Chick crowd will have a field day with: there is more crime per capita in Vatican City than in any other place on earth. Of course, most of that consists in pickpocketing and purse-snatching by Roman hoodlums, the victims being tourists, who themselves always outnumber the Vatican's resident population. Being designed for a purpose other than law enforcement, the Swiss Guard is ill-equipped to deal with the problem. Nor are the Italian authorities much interested in prosecuting petty crimes committed in another sovereign jurisdiction. They've never dealt all that well with petty crimes within their jurisdiction.

But you won't hear about such subtleties from the Pope-is-Antichristers. They'll just seize on the headline as yet another example of the Vatican's satanic perfidy. The apologist's work, like a mother's, is never done. And it doesn't pay much as Jack Chick has got, I'll wager.

MBA study notes for Catholics

You don't have to be Catholic to enjoy this bit of humor from Hugo Mendez. But it sure helps!

Just one item to entice you (or repel you, if this is not your kind of humor...):

7. Initial Public Offering: (a) The point at which feminist, homosexual, and liberal lobbies first bought shares in the PCUSA "Book of Order." (b) In Catholic parishes, the term is equivalent to the casual term "first collection," defining one of (too) many rotations of the collection plate.

An honor craved is an honor granted...for once

Bernard Brandt is one of my favorite people in the blogosphere. An Eastern Catholic, he posts erudite yet pithy things about Muslim outrages, Catholic-Orthodox issues, politics, and the arts, including his own surprisingly good poetry. Because he rarely indulges in theological polemics himself, I rarely comment at his blog and he rarely comments at this one. But I was glad to know he's around doing his thing even before he bestowed on me, as his Christmas gift, knighthood in the Order of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

I am as close to speechless, in this case with gratitude, as I am ever likely to get. Indeed I had been craving this honor with barely contained envy ever since Bernard bestowed it last year on the Pontificator, Fr. Al Kimel—who, I hasten to add, was tickled pink. With due measures of levity and gravity, Fr. Al has seconded the announcement of this latest member's induction. If you care to join in the fun.

In celebration, enjoy the six-second audio of the following prayer's first line:

"O Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits … in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu … [”skip ahead a bit, brother”] … And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Amen.